its mugging time. and i don't like it. there isn't much that can take my mind off things that i don't want to think about right now, and the music to drown out all the surrounding noise doesn't help. it just makes me sink deeper into the abyss... even diru's THE FINAL gives me a really haunting feeling... like i'm gonna burn up and die or something. i have to claw my way up back to my books so that i don't screw my cts up anymore... not that it'll help since i've been scoring shit for my cts. and no it doesn't help even when people say that i'm not a stupid girl. stupid or not its a fact that my grades suck and dumbass me told mr goh that i'm somehow gonna try and get a C for chem. now tell me thats possible. probably will be if i go memorise every single piece of notes but my brain just doesn't work with memorising.
suddenly am reminded of the time when i named my blog. reflects well on my life thus far... a living hell. how torturous life is! reminds me of my gp passage on paradoxes.
you are bored with doing nothing, so you go out for a drive. you are bored with driving, so you turn on the radio. you are bored with just driving and listening to the radio, so you make a call on the cellular phone. you realise that you are driving, listening to the radio, and talking on the phone, and you are still bored. then you reflect that it would be nice if you had time, occasionally, just to do nothing. yet, when the time comes to be alone with ourselves, we may crave the cellular phone. we abhor the blankness, the lack of stimulation, that comes with doing nothing.
the underlying logic of this paradox applies so well...
go figure.
just too bad for you girl that you can't go and celebrate. maybe you're not meant to be.
posted by munky at 22:53